someone please come distract me from writing my paper

These two women leave their husbands at home and go out for a girl’s night out. They drink and dance and have a crazy amazing night until it’s closing time. When they get to the parking loot, they realize they’re both too drunk to drive, so they start walking home.

Halfway home they realize they really have to pee, but they can’t hold it til they get home. They duck into a nearby cemetery for some privacy. The first woman pulls her panties off, pulls her skirt up, and squats and pees. She wipes with her underwear and tosses them away. The second woman is wearing nice expensive undies, so while squatting, she reaches behind a tombstone and grabs a ribbon to wipe with. They finish and head home to pass out.

The next day, the first woman’s husband calls the second woman’s husband and says, “I think my wife may have cheated on me, she came home and passed out in her clothes and she doesn’t have any panties on.” The second husband replies, “You think that’s bad? My wife has a card in her panties that says Thank you for everything you did for us, from all of us at the firehouse.”

Ah, christian-libertarian​, you put my dirty joke attempts to shame…


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