…when it’s 2am and there’s not a single woman in sight.
I the girls I want to try and attract live at least half an hour away. Grr.
What do I want out of a relationship?
I want an anchor. I want inspiration. I want peace.
In my mind, I am mighty. I can do anything, could do everything. I will attempt it all, pulling myself apart as I stretch myself thin. I will become overwhelmed, run down, stressed out of my mind at the thought of letting people down.
It used to be that I was all the inspiration I needed. I could pull myself up, do the impossible. My confidence was overflowing, and I shared it with others.
Now, as I find myself facing a lifetime of decisions, with many new people on which I rely for support of some type, I find myself second-guessing my confidence. Wondering if, perhaps, I’ve taken on too much. I feel disorganized, scatterbrained, low on energy, and almost in over my head.
I hope one day she comes along. The one who will balance out my lofty visions of ability with grounded reason. The one who will gently pull me out of my nightmares, reminding me that everything is okay. The one I can fall back on to restore my fleeting sanity and give rest to my mind.
I know she’s out there. She has to be. I pray I find her soon.
That one girl Tinder matched me with this week? The one that disappeared? Well I’ve stood just three feet from her.
I go to a college-age church group every thursday night or so. This girl I almost met apparently just started going too, last week when I wasn’t there. SHE WAS THERE TONIGHT! I wasn’t even looking for her, but her shirt caught my eye – the same one in her first Tinder pic. She even had her little sister with her (Okay, I’ll admit I stalked her FB a little…).
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW BUT I’M SO FREAKING EXCITED BECAUSE SHE’S ACTUALLY CUTE IRL!!!
So I actually asked a girl out. So I got rejected. What did I learn?
I learned that it’s actually not the end of the world to ask someone out. Yes, it’s a bit difficult, especially for a first time, but I’ve now actually experienced a straight out, short and sweet rejection. No drawn out scene of daydreams and observations, wondering if she liked me or not. No, got it done and off of my mind.
What else? Trust your gut feeling. I knew it was a bit of a long shot, but the rejection only verified what my gut was telling me. Too bad it wasn’t a good gut feeling.
Each rejection makes me more open to the idea of online dating sites… but that’s water I’m not yet ready to tread, and I’m sure God’s just waiting to send the right person my way, in His own time.
A random person liked this yesterday, which brought it back into my mind after EXACTLY 6 months. A funny coincidence, though, is that this week I installed Tinder (yes, you may laugh at me now). I know it’s kinda not technically online dating, but it’s still getting really close. Fascinating, isn’t it?
I think the reason why the phrase “I’m not like most girls” annoys me so much is because women have been conditioned to feel like they have to disassociate themselves from the female gender to be recognised as an interesting human being and if that isn’t fucked up then I don’t know what is
Hmm or it could just be that someone wants to make sure someone else knows that there’s something special about them that the other 3.5 billion don’t have.
The same applies for guys.
It worked for the Beatles… Now I have a large umbrella of my own! #ladies #youknowwhattodo #dating #lol #music